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Depression is Anger Turned Inward

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to talk to many people. I talked to several parents whose child has birthed into spirt and I talked to several people who are depressed.

One of the men I talked to shared his depression with me. I told him he covers it well. He said, “I’ve been wondering why no one around me has said anything.” He even mentioned that his son hasn’t reached out to him. His depression has been going on for over three years. That said, he still gets up and goes to work, he still puts a smile on his face and he still seems to be living. He told me several times during the past three years he has thought more about dying than living.

As a “seer” I looked at him and saw that he did not want to die. I told him, you don’t want to die but you also don’t want to live like this. In truth, I believe everyone who commitments suicide didn’t want to die, they just wanted out of the abyss of darkness they have found themselves trapped in.

On an energy level depression is holding down anger, often rage and underneath rage and anger is sadness a deep abiding sadness, grief, despondency, hopelessness, misery, shame, guilt etc,

My treatment for depression has been the same for over twenty years. In a safe environment I get the person angry. I can’t count the number of “release’ sessions I have done over the years. My team of angels come in and together we help the person release the anger and rage so they can get to the real issues which is hopelessness and helplessness.

For me the issue really isn’t about depression the issue is we have been taught since we were children to put on a masks and not to allow people to see we are hurting. We are so used to putting on masks throughout our lives that being authentic, real with ourselves, much less those around us is something that we must be retaught, actually given permission to do.

Twenty-seven years ago, I had a nervous breakdown. This breakdown was a gift. I had to be taught how to be angry, I kid you not, I had to be given permission to be angry and then I had to learn how to get it out of my body/mind. I was blessed to find a healer who could hold space for my anger and for my despair.

Sadly, many people don’t have the breakdown, they keep putting on the mask, smiling, going through the motions of living while all the time they are dying inside. People may notice there is something wrong with their loved one, friend and/or associate but you have to understand your love one, friend and/or associate works hard NOT to let you see that they are hurting. Sadly, at some point they get trapped into a cycle of living………….you know smile even if you are dying inside……………….smile even if it kills you and it does kill parts of yourself away.

These people are everywhere, they are your waiter, your minster, priest, doctor, entertainer, boss, best friends, lover, parent, brother, sister,  husband wife, and child. They look like they are living but behind closed doors they are dying inside because they are trapped in an abyss of darkness and despair, and yet they smile until one day they cannot find the energy to hide the despair and they take what they think is the only way of the darkness, they end life so that they can return to the light. Of course, this is not a conscious understanding, but deep within they simply want to return to the light.

One day you wake up and the abyss is so deep you can’t find the energy to smile or to put on another mask and the only way out of the abyss is suicide. Again, the person simply wants out of the pain, of the sadness a deep abiding sadness, which pulls in grief, despondency, hopelessness, misery, shame, guilt ect. They want to return to the light.

Twenty-three years ago, I decided that I would not focus on hospice work as my life’s work. I made a decision that I would focus on helping people learn how to LIVE so that when it’s their time to birth into spirit (die a physical death) they could do so with ease and grace. During the past twenty-three years, I have been blessed to lead many people from the abyss of depression and despair.

I help them by SEEING them, really SEEING them and then I create safe space for them to get angry………… let go of that which is pulling them into the abyss of despair……….. I hold space for them to cry and cry and cry and then I teach them to let go of the mask and to become real. This is what we did at The Living From The Heart Retreat and what we will do at all of my retreats.

I believe the core of my work is to help my students and clients be real and to return to love.

To become real means to stand before the mirror and look at my scars and blemishes and see myself as a being of love, doing the best I can do to navigate this plane of existence within God.

To become real means to allow others to see me, to really see me, yes with all of my scars and blemishes as well as the parts of self that are pure and untouched by the wounds of childhood and life.

To become real means, I must first see and love myself so that I might allow others to see me, really see me.

In truth that’s all any of us really want, to be seen, to be heard, and to be loved.

To those of you who read my words and are in depression, reach out to someone, to anyone. Know that the abyss of despair and anguish you feel can be healed and transformed. Part of your journey is learning how to ask for help, and to be willing to be seen with all your scars and blemishes. Part of your journey is to unravel back to that place of peace, love and joy which is still within you but is held down by your despair. I know asking for help seems a monumental task and it is but when you ask for help you are asking to be freed from the pain. Even in your depression it is your choice to stay there to be willing to be seen, really seen.

To those of you who read my words and you are dealing with the trauma of someone you love committing suicide, know that you didn’t see the signs because your loved one didn’t want you to see the sign. Part of your journey is now about forgiveness, forgiving yourself and forgiving your loved one. In forgiveness there is freedom, for both of you.

There are no easy solutions to the issue of depression but I believe that we begin by teaching our children to be real. This means we teach them that there is NOTHING they can’t tell us, or show us. We teach our children that they don’t have to smile and be happy and that emotions such as sadness and anger are just alerting them that something is out of alignment with love. Of course, this is also true for those of us who are adults. Our only directive is to stay open to love this doesn’t mean we don’t feel emotions such as anger and sadness. The key to emotions is to feel them and to move THROUGH them while staying open to love.

Today is a new day. It is one of your creation. Today know that you are the creative force in your life. Today take time to be kind to yourself and to others. Today pick of the phone and call that person you have been thinking about. Today ask for help from the world of spirit and someone you trust even if that person is a stranger.

Today know that you are loved, deeply loved.

Blessings, Katye Anna teacher of soul

For over twenty years Katye Anna has been sharing her gifts and messages of transformation and empowered soulful living.

Katye Anna is a teacher of soul, transformational author, speaker, retreat and workshop facilitator. She is the author of five books, “Conscious Construction of the Soul,”Birthing into Spirit,”  Soul Love Never Ends and “CrossRoads-Living A Soul Inspired Life.” Katye Anna embraces life as a mystical, magical, and spiritual journey – one she chooses to consciously walk with God. 

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