I wrote this in 2022 around the holidays. I felt guided to share it again. Blessings, Katye Anna
To friends and family who know someone who is moving through grief right now. Please do not take it personally if they do not want to spend time with you or extended family during the holiday season.
Some days it is all they can do to get out of bed and go through the motions.
We know that you want to help but help can be not trying to push your agenda on your loved one.
Invite them and let them decide if they have the energy.
Let them know it’s okay to cancel at the last minute. Let them know it’s okay to be right where they are.
To those moving through grief. Grief sucks. No matter what your belief system is about death and dying when someone cycles off the earth we miss them.
It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to feel angry. Don’t feel you have to take care of anyone but yourself. Of course if you have small children you might have to ask for help to take care of them.
It’s okay to say no to people. Again, take care of yourself. Drink water, eat when you can, sleep when you can and know that this journey into grief will not last forever.
I know many people say that grief last forever. It does not. Nor does the sadness.
Do not let people tell you that you are grieving because you loved someone. While this is partially true you are grieving because you miss your loved ones physical presence in your life. You ache for their touch. You ache to hear the sound of their voice. You ache to hear their laughter.
No dear one grief is not the price you pay for love. No one would ever open up to love again if this was true.
You might be grieving because you have regrets. Forgive yourself for the could haves, would haves and should haves.
Above all stay open to love. When you can allow joy back into your life. Joy is your saving grace. Your loved ones who have birthed into spirit leap with joy when they see you happy.
Remember try as you can you can’t turn grief on and off. You never know when a wave will hit you. Sometimes the waves of grief are small. Other times you will feel like a tsunami has hit you and you get knocked off your feet. Know this too will pass.
As someone who is currently moving through grief I am grateful for my family and friends. Know that I am doing the best I can to move through this time. If you are moving through grief reach out for support. Grief is not a walk you want or need to take on your own.
When you can talk about your loved one. Say their name as often as you want to.
Someday when the time is right I hope you will be able to celebrate the time you had with your loved instead of mourning the time you didn’t have.
May you feel the love and comfort of the angels. May you one day feel a peace which surpasses all understanding.
Katye Anna Clark